Our sweet Mayson

Okay, I apologize in advance because this is going to be a lengthy post. Most people get to show off their babies all the time. I too have a desire to show off my sweet baby so I thought now would be a good time.

My due date was October 23, 2008, which was last Thursday. I have been trying to find the time ever since then to pay tribute to my sweet baby.

Curtis and I did not think we could have anymore kids, but we always felt we had one more waiting. In January 2008 some tests were done and they told us because of Curtis' chemotherapy for his cancer he would no longer be able to have kids. Two days later we found out we were expecting.

We were ecstatic! What a miracle! The boys were excited too. We started preparing and anticipating.

On my 19 week mark my water broke. I did not realize what it was at the time because who thinks their water is going to break at 19 weeks of gestation? I was immediately hospitalized for a week with fluids being pumped into me to see if it would help continue the pregnancy. After a week I was sent home and told that the odds were against me. I was informed that normally after ones water breaks there is a 24 hour period where either baby dies or mother goes into labor. Neither of those things had happened yet so I was told to go home and pray to make it to 24 weeks for viability.

I did go home and I did pray as did everyone around me. We prayed for a miracle and we got one - just not the one we originally had hoped for.

On June 22, 2008 I went into the hospital because of a severe backache. Turns out I had a chorio infection. Chorio not only kills babies, but it kills mothers. The doctors had to induce me right away to start me on antibiotics.

At 11:25 p.m. our miracle was born. He was beautiful. He was perfect. He was alive! Against all odds he made it through 3½ weeks after my water breaking and he made it through the delivery. We named him Mayson Curtis Cornell. He was 1.2 lbs and was 11 inches long. It was amazing watching him open and shut his mouth, move his tiny fingers and moving his feet and legs. They were small movements, but they were amazing. He did not like his feet touched. When we touched the bottom of his feet he would jerk his leg away from us.

Curtis, my dad, and my brother Tyler gave Mayson a name and a blessing. This was an amazing moment and I am so glad we were able to do this for him.

Mayson passed away at 12:00 a.m. on June 23, 2008.

Mayson gave us 35 minutes of heaven. I have never felt such a strong spirit and I know that even when his heart stopped beating he was still with us. I know that he is still with us now.

Here are some pictures of our sweet Mayson...


This is Mayson's, mine, and daddy's hands.

This is Mayson's feet with daddy's wedding ring. It reminds me of how small he was. His little body was small, but it was perfect!

Mayson's funeral was on Wednesday, June 25, 2008. I told Cayden, Bryce, and Gavyn that they could give Mayson anything they wanted and we would put it in his casket with him. They loved it and these are the items they chose. Cayden gave Mayson one of his favorite shirts. Bryce gave him the red and white giraffe. Gavyn gave him a tennis ball. The M&M's are from his nana and pappy Cornell. If you know my kids at all you would know that this fits their personalities perfectly!

We let 35 white balloons go at the funeral because he was alive for 35 minutes. The picture at the top of my blog is a picture of the white balloons from the funeral. This is us after the services were over next to Mayson's casket.

One of the things I was so excited for was when we finally got the headstone. I know that might sound strange, but I felt like it was a gift we were able to give him. The headstone came on September 11, 2008. We love it!

I miss my sweet baby so much, but I am so grateful for the short time I had to spend with him. He was and still is our miracle! I think about him everyday and I look forward to when I will see him again. Knowing that someday I will be able to raise him brings so much joy to my heart.

I want to thank everyone for all the love they have given me, Curtis, and the boys. I have never felt such an outpouring of love. The hospital staff were amazing, especially the sweet nursery nurse. Thank you for checking up on me, you are amazing! Thank you to everyone in my ward for all the meals, snacks, babysitting, and visits. I hope you know how much we appreciate and love you. Thank you to my family and friends! You are amazing and I love you. I also want to tell my husband that he is amazing. I love you and thanks for always knowing what I need and letting my cry on your shoulder. My sweet little boys have been amazing. I am so grateful for each day I have with them.

I do not understand why things happened this way, but I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and my family and I know that he is aware of me and my needs. I have felt his love and his comfort and I know that someday I will understand - and I am okay with that. I love him and I trust him.

Mayson, I miss you and I love you!

I've been tagged.

10 years ago I:
1. Was waiting for Curtis to come home from his mission
2. Worked as a CNA and Bannock Hospital
3. Was in shape
4. Had a lot more energy
5. Had curly blonde hair - having kids ruined that one :)

5 things on today's "to do" list:
1. Clean the House
2. make cookies
3. decorate the house
4. play with the kids
5. visit Bryce's kindergarten class

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Chocolate
2. apples
3. cheese and crackers
4. ice cream
5. more chocolate

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire:
1. Pay tithing
2. Hire a maid to clean the house
3. Set up college/mission funds for the kids
4. Take the kids on a vacation
5. Pay off my house

5 places I have lived:
1. Blackfoot, ID
2. Pocatello, ID
3. Rigby, ID
4. Preston, ID
5. that is it, pathetic huh

Five jobs I have had:
1. Medical Transcriptionist
2. Title worker at Alliance Title & Escrow
3. CNA at Bannock Hospital
4. Gymnastics instructor
5. Babysitter

I tag...Whoever wants to and
1. Katie
2. Jenny
3. Angela
4. Jessica
5. Cherie

Rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know that they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person that tagged you know when you've answered the questions on your blog

Okay, here are the pictures from our trip to Primary Children's and the surgery.

This is Gavyn playing momma's DS at the hotel. He plays it more than I do!

Daddy is trying to get some rest before the big day.

I woke up at about 2:30 a.m. and couldn't sleep, but I looked over at Gavyn and he was sleeping so peacefully I couldn't help but take his picture. Isn't he sweet!

As soon as we got to the hospital they had Gavyn change into the hospital garb. He loved it.

This was right after he got his IV in. His face is spotchy and he is playing with a new toy they gave him to try to distract him. It worked amazingly well!

After the doctor/surgeon comes and consults with parents before the surgeon they write their initials on the kid's heads. I am not sure what the reasoning is to this, but I have a picture of his with it when he was 2 months old for his previous surgery and so I took one of it now too.

This was us in the waiting room during the 2 hour long wait for him to go in. Gavyn was not impressed.....

but we were able to get him asleep and we put him in the wagon so they could easily wheel him back.

Then, the anesthesiologist came and wheeled him away after giving him some good meds.

I couldn't take any pictures when Gavyn first came out of surgery. Partly because he really didn't want me to, but mostly because all I wanted to do was hold him. This was when Aunt Jennifer and Uncle James came. They brought him a toy dart gun and he LOVED it!

This is what the top of Gavyn's head looks like. He has 40+ stitches. I took a picture of it to show him what was on his head. He couldn't figure out why momma was being so paranoid about everything. His reply was, "that's on me? Ohhh."

This is Gavyn with Dr. Brockmeyer. He had just been informed that he could go home. This was one happy little boy.

On the way home Gavyn played with Cayden's leapster. Cayden borrowed it to him to help keep him busy on the long ride home.

Overall, everything went really well and Gavyn is doing great. We are so glad to have this over with and to have our sweet boy back home in his own bed.

Surgery update

The one thing I have learned this past couple days is that Gavyn is one tough little man! He has amazed me. Curtis, me, and Gavyn rode down to SLC on Sunday night and we ended up staying in a hotel. Gavyn had a tough day on Sunday because he knew what was coming and he was not looking forward to it.

We were at Primary Children's Hospital by 6:30 a.m. Gavyn would not talk to anyone there. Everytime he was asked a question he would look at me to answer it for him. During the initial exam he sat quietly and followed directions. When it was time to put the IV in he did great. It took them what felt like 5 full minutes to get the IV in. They had to turn off the lights and put a flashlight in the palm of his hand to finally get it in. Gavyn did good through half of it, but about the time the lights went off he no longer was happy. He laid perfectly still, but he kept crying that it hurt. Curtis and I were crying by that point too. Seeing him in so much pain was unbearable.

We then went to a waiting area and was met by the anesthesiologist and then Dr. Brockmeyer, his surgeon. Dr. B said that Gavyn was going to have a cranioplasty and that it would be fairly simple. We were going to be able to go home that night. Then, we had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to go back. Gavyn rocked with Curtis and I and eventually fell asleep so we put him in a little wagon to wait. I think it was his own comfort measure falling asleep so that the anticipation would not get to him. When the anesthesiologist came to give him medicine Gavyn was still asleep. He opened his eyes a couple of times and said "Mommy, I want you!" Then, they wheeled him away to the operating room.

Curtis and I went to the parents waiting room. It was going to be an hour before he was to be done. About an hour later we got a call from the nurse letting us know that it was taking longer than expected. Another hour after that Dr. B finally came in to let us know how the surgery went.

When Gavyn was born he had no soft spots. His head was growing hammer-headed and at 2 months of age he had a craniectomy to remove skull so that there was room for his brain to grow. The skull was supposed to grow in eventually, but Gavyn's never grew back all the way. This surgery was supposed to have been to fix what we thought were two quarter-sized soft spots on the upper back of Gavyn's head. When Dr. B cut his head open he found that Gavyn had one huge soft spot that was about the size of a dollar bill folded in half length ways.

The doctor went ahead with the planned surgery as best he could. He sanded down and cleaned the sides of Gavyn's skull, put plastic plates in Gavyn's head, put on bone putty and stitched him up. There was one problem - the plastic plates usually only work on smaller areas and because Gavyn's was much worse than originally expected they don't know if it would work. Within six months we will know. His head may soften again and he will have to go back in for another surgery. Gavyn, however, was doing well and we were anticipating seeing him.

About 10 minutes later I got called back to the recovery area. Coming off of anesthesia Gavyn can get quite mean. He was given a little bit of Morphine to calm down then he was sent to his room. We had to stay a minimum of one night because his surgery ended up being more extensive. In his room, Gavyn started feeling better and after a couple of hours the anesthesia had worn off most of the way. He was his old self again! It was amazing. He never once complained of pain. The only pain medicine he has had is Motrin and Tylenol. Within a couple of hours he was walking/running down the halway looking for the toy room, diving off the bed, playing on the floor mats with toys, and talking happily to everyone around. By about 6 hours after the surgery Gavyn was off of all the equipment and no longer needing the IV fluid. The nurses were amazed and so was Curtis and I.

Aunt Jennifer and Uncle James came down with the kids to check on Gavyn and to let Curtis and I go out and get dinner. They brought a bunch of goodies, Gavyn's favorite being the dart gun. It was a much needed out from a stressful day and we greatly appreciated it! They were great company and we were sad when they left. Later, Gavyn went to bed and slept through the night.

Dr. B came by the next morning and was amazed at Gavyn as well. He released us from the hospital and we came home. Gavyn has only complained of his head hurting once and that was when he hit it on the piano. You would never know he had just had a surgery other than the fact that he has 40+ stitches on the top of his head. What a trooper!

We returned home and visited all the grandparents so they could see for themselves that Gavyn was okay. My parents had kept Cayden and Bryce for us while we were gone and they were happy and spoiled. My mom had bought some button down shirts for Gavyn since he cannot pull normal shirts over his head very easily, which was great because I had forgotten about doing that. Curtis' parents met us with big hugs of appreciation. It was so nice to be home again! I could not ever imagine living far away from our families. We are so lucky to have so many close by us.

I am so proud of Gavyn for his bravery. He is back to his sweet-personality self. Thank you to everyone who has helped us. We have received so much love and support from everyone through this and I am so greatful to everyone! I am so grateful for doctors with the knowledge they have so that they can help my sweet Gavyn and I am also grateful for a loving heavenly father who has sent us so much comfort and love this past year. I know he is aware of our needs and I know that he loves us!

I am having trouble downloading the pictures from my camera, but when Curtis gets home tonight I will post pictures from Gavyn's trip to Primary Children's.

Gavyn's surgery

So, Gavyn's surgery was postponed until Monday. It was supposed to be today, but there was some scheduling mishaps down at Primary Children's Hospital. We will be heading down tomorrow to Aunt Clarissa's house to stay the night and then his check in time is 6:45 a.m. I am nervous, yet excited to get it done and over with. This should be his last surgery. I will let you know how it goes.

By the way, thanks Clarissa and Jon for letting us crash at your house for the night. You guys are great and we are looking forward to hanging out with you for the night!

Desi Did It!

So, Curtis and I decide that we need a date night. My mom offered to watch the kids for us because she is such a nice nana. Curtis and I go out to dinner and are about to start watching 'Eagle Eyes', a movie I would recommend, when we receive a text from Jennifer. Apparently, leaving your child with a nana and a sister-in-law isn't a very good idea. My baby's appearance had changed. Curtis and I could not stop laughing. It is perfect for him. It fits his personality to a T! Gavyn will be having his surgery on Monday and he has been asking for a mohawk. They were just all to willing and happy to oblige!

BEFORE.......

AFTER........

Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to turn the picture, but isn't he adorable!!!

Finally Blogging

So, I have thought about starting a blog for quite some time now. Between my husband and my boys there is always something crazy happening in my house and now I don't have to laugh alone! Hope you enjoy.